Philadelphia, PA towpath. (Photo: Credit/Gloria Maratta)

Interviewer: How did You hear about this position?

God: I know all things.  I am God. 

I: Tell us a little bit about Yourself.

G:  Well, in the beginning, I said, “let there be light” and there was light.  I created everyone who’s reading this; all who came before and who will come after. I made Heaven and earth.  I am a Father, Son, and Spirit.  I breathed the Word of God into existence. It was made flesh by my Son, Jesus.  Darkness is afraid of Me.  I invented recycling as I make all things work together for good for those who love Me. I died for you and then rose again on the third day so that you may live.  I am Your light & salvation and am always with you. 

I: Why should we hire You?

G: Because greater love has no one than this—to lay down One’s life for His friends.

I: What can You contribute to the company?

G: Faith, Hope, Love; But the greatest of these is Love.  Love never fails.

I: What is Your greatest strength?

G: That you can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you.

I: What is Your greatest weakness?

G: You are.   So, come to Me all who carry heavy burdens. I will give you rest, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.

I: How do You deal with pressure or stressful situations?

G: I am anxious for nothing and have a peace that surpasses understanding.

I: What type of work environment do You feel comfortable in?

G: I loved the Garden of Eden.  It was just Adam, Eve, and me.  But you know how there’s always a bad apple to spoil the bunch or a snake always slithers out of somewhere and ruins the fun. 

I: Do You prefer working independently or on a team?

G: As God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, we are Team Holy Trinity.  I enjoy the blending of the three yet work well independently without supervision. 

I: What is Your greatest Achievement?

G:  My Son in Whom I am well pleased.  He loves you so much that He died so that you could live. He, being perfect and kind was tortured, beaten, spat upon, nailed to a Cross, to wipe the slate clean of sin for all, died, was buried and I rose Him from the dead three days later. Whoever believes in Him, can come to Me.

I: Where do You see Yourself in five years?

G: Leading the Rapture.

I: What makes You unique?

G: I am your light and your salvation.  In Me, you don’t need to fear anyone or anything.

I: Are You well-organized?

G: Yes. I use something special that keeps everything together and in order.  It’s a special glue called “Love,” which I named the “bond of perfection” in Colossians 3:14.

I: Can You multi-task?

G: I can let there be light while at the same time form all of creation, seal the ocean floor, command the sun, moon and stars to appear as I knit babies together in their mothers’ wombs, know each strand of hair on everyone I create, while at the same time whisper the Word of Me into the hearts of those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. 

I: How would Your co-workers describe You?

G: An Advocate, loyal, never forsakes or abandons, Good Shepherd, Promise Keeper, Sin Remover, never lies, keeps His Word, Refuge in storms, an Anchor, Rock and Fortress, the Cornerstone, Waymaker, Comforter, Light of the world, the Way, Truth and Life, Miracle Worker.  That is Who I am.

I: What are Your salary expectations?

G: It is written, man shall not live on bread alone but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

I: When can You start?

G: In the Beginning.

I: Do You have any questions for us?

G:  Yes. Why do so many not love the Lord Your God with all their hearts and souls?  Why do so many not love their neighbor as themselves?  Why do so many not forgive one another as Jesus forgave?  Why was prayer removed from public schools?

Interviewer to God:  Unfortunately, You are overqualified.  We will not be needing Your services.


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