Have you ever heard of an idiolect? We all have one.

An idiolect is our personal way of speaking. Although we share a common language, each person expresses ideas in a unique way, shaped by personality, environment, and emotions.

We know people who listen well, speak respectfully, use an appropriate tone, and choose their words carefully. Even when we do not agree with their ideas, it is pleasant to talk with them and easy to find common ground.

We also know people we would rather avoid. They can be rude, offensive, and loud, and even when they are telling the truth, we do not want to listen to them.

What kind of person are you? What is your idiolect like?

In marriage, communication and the tone we use when expressing ourselves are essential.

A few days ago, an American friend told me that during the first years of her marriage to a Hispanic man, language differences made it difficult to resolve problems. She decided to learn Spanish and understand the culture in order to communicate better. For eight years, they spoke Spanish while he developed the skills needed to communicate in English. Today, after twenty years of marriage, they have bilingual children.

It is important to learn how to communicate with clarity, respect, and tenderness, without shouting or harshness.

Proverbs 16:23-24 reminds us that kind words are sweet and life-giving.

So, let’s get to work… or better yet: let’s put words to work!